[MUSIC] While I'm taking a break from the music, let me ask you a question. When you're at work, do you ever feel like you're on a stage, performing in front of others? As a manger, your interactions are sometimes on display because others are watching. Not literally on a stage, unless you work in a really cool place, but on display nonetheless. Put yourself in a situation where you're negotiating something that will set a new policy, or a precedent. Maybe it's a union negotiation. Or maybe you're dealing with an employee who wants to work from home. And this will set a precedent for others. You're on display, you're up on the stage, again not literally, but you're on display because others are watching, not only for the outcome, but for the process as well. So maybe your bosses are in the audience, and other employees. Now put yourself in the shoes of your counterpart that you're dealing with. That person probably has people in his or her audience as well. If you're negotiating with a union, that leader will certainly have rank and file members watching her very closely. Even if you're just working on a work-at-home arrangement with the employee I mentioned at the beginning, that person's spouse might be watching to see whether the employee stands up for himself. So sometimes certain roles have to be acted out on the front stage, visible for others to see. When this happens, people typically want to look tough. You want to look strong in front of your bosses. A union leader or even just a worker wants to look strong in front of their constituents or their spouse, especially if that's what the audience is looking for. So tables are pounded, threats are made. Tensions run hot. You might even be yelled at and verbally attacked. However, keep your cool, play your role, do not take anything personally. The front stage is not where win-win deals are made. The front stage is for satisfying audience expectations. So, where do win-win deals get made then? Here, this is where win-win deals get made. Not here in the spotlight, over here on the backstage, hidden from the audience. Out of the limelight, on the back stage, this is where you can exchange information. This is where you can talk more openly, more frankly, brainstorm different ideas without them leaking out and setting expectations. This is where you can really explore different options and ultimately engage in problem solving. So remember, managing doesn't occur in a vacuum. It can be a complicated task with many constraints and dynamics. So what can you do? You need to be a good front stage manager, backstage manager. Separate the front stage and the limelight from the backstage, problem-solving out of the spotlight. When you're dealing with somebody else, think about whether you have an audience. Think about what roles that audience expects you to play. And don't just think about yourself. Engage in deep perspective taking. Think about whether the person you're dealing with, negotiating with, whatever the case may be, think about whether they have an audience and what types of expectations that audience has for him or her. Think about what types of roles you're expected to play and, again, engage in perspective taking. What types of roles is your counterpart expected to play? And as a good manager, let them play their roles if needed. If they need to save face, let them save face. If they need to appear strong, let them appear strong. This can be a challenge. It can be very different. It can be very stressful, very tension filled. Emotions can run hot. But be prepared for this. Be prepared in advance and don't get caught up in the emotions of the front stage performances. Let the roles unfold, let the audience consume the performance that the audience expects to see. And save your problem solving for the backstage out of the limelight. Like it or not, being on stage is part of being a manager. Remembering the lessons of this video can help make this a better experience but don't misinterpret the lesson. The lesson is not to shut people out and make backroom deals. This isn't very good for transparency and building trust with those who report to you. Rather the lesson is to distinguish between direct participants who you need to involve such as those who report to you and stakeholders who are watching from afar. The audience, but who are not involved in decision making. Involve the direct participants, but don't forget about the audience. Okay, back to the music. [MUSIC]
