If you've ever worked in customer service, then you've dealt with difficult situations. The way you handle them in the food industry, and tech world are pretty similar. But before we dive into that, we're going to take a step back and talk about the science behind what's happening in these situations. Let's say someone's yelling at you, whether it's about overcooked steak or broken computer, your reaction to either will probably be similar. Your palms might be sweating, your hands might shake, or your mouth goes dry, tunnel vision might kick in. These are all normal physiological reactions that happen in response to a perceived threat. This is part of our biological make up dating back to the time when people hunted for their food. When you're being chased by a cougar, you needed your senses to be at high alert in order to keep yourself alive. Even though someone yelling at you isn't the same as the cougar attacking you, it can feel similar in the moment. Your brain is releasing a mix of chemicals and hormones to heighten your senses and keep you alert. Unfortunately, a side effect is that you may have trouble focusing on a specific task. Not ideal. It's in times like these that you might go on autopilot, where your body has a physical reaction and it's hard to focus. It's super important to recognize these moments and put a plan in place to reboot yourself out of the situation. Sometimes I feel this way when I'm teaching a class and someone is ignoring me. They just don't pay attention. I used to call them out on it. The fight response. But this never ended well. Sometimes they had a good reason for being on their phone, and calling them out never made them listen more. Now when I feel myself in that situation, I notice that my pulse increases. When I realize that's happening, I make sure to look around and focus on people who are more engaged in the lesson, and make eye contact with them. Soon, I feel my pulse slow down. Some of your experiences in IT support might trigger similar reactions. Once you've identified this reboot action, write it down. Remember, your brain isn't always working well in the heat of the moment. So it helps to have something to remind you what to do. It could be anything from squeezing a stress ball, to looking away, to taking a deep breath. The first couple of times it may not work, so give it time. When you have a difficult situation, take a moment to think about what went wrong. How are you feeling? What was your reaction? Why did you raise your voice? After a while, it becomes second nature to catch yourself and deescalate situation. To really hold yourself accountable, tell a coworker what you're trying to do, give them a recap of the interaction, and ask them for their feedback on the interaction. You might get some great tips. But here's the bad news. Things aren't over when you get yourself back on track. That's when the hard work starts. Every situation is different, and you'll learn the best strategies from experience and peer feedback. To get you started, I'll run through some tried and true techniques. Keep in mind that it's fine if you don't get these right the first time. It takes practice, reflection, and feedback to really nail it. So don't give up. The hardest and arguably the best technique, is to identify where the interaction went wrong in the moment and redirect the conversation. This is really tough, because it means remaining calm enough to objectively look at the interaction, and understand what could have caused it to escalate. At first, try this once the interaction is over. You started your chat with the user and it's really pleasant and problem solving is happening. Then suddenly the tone turns dark. What caused it? Where was the misstep? Looking back, you might notice that the user didn't understand the question about what happens when he tries to sync his phone. And the tech just kept repeating it. The user gets annoyed and then starts typing in all caps. A clear sign they're irritated. In this case, the cause seems obvious. If the user didn't understand the question, then they probably got frustrated when the same question was asked over and over. If the IT support specialist had noticed this, they could have reframed the question and broken it down further. Another cause of frustration in user support interactions, is when people talk over each other. This usually happens over the phone, since there is sometimes a delay. But it can happen in person too. Typically, it leads to people talking louder and sometimes ends up feeling like you're yelling at each other. You've probably been in a situation like this with your friends or family. Everyone wants to talk, and the person with the loudest voice wins. How can I help you today? My laptop isn't working, I need a new one. I have meetings I need to go to. I can certainly look into this and see what we can do to fix it. But I want to set context that our policy is to only replace laptops if all other options have been exhausted. I don't need you to go snooping around my computer. Just give me a new one. Gail, I'd love to do that for you, but. That's ridiculous. I'm a director. I should get a new one. I don't have time for this. I completely understand the urgency of the situation. Why don't you let me take a look at. That's why I came. You need to fix it. It's important to try and identify why this is happening, so you can course correct. In this case, you can simply stop talking to calm things down, and then pause for about five or ten seconds to make sure they're done talking and start again. This might take a few tries before the user realizes what they're doing, and gives you time to talk. Use that time to calm down and really listen to what the user is saying. Ask yourself. Why are they talking over me? What am I missing? Then, in those five to 10 seconds, collect yourself and think about what you want to say. How can I help you today. My laptop isn't working. I need a new one. I have meetings I need to go to. I can certainly look into this and see what we can do to fix it. But I want to set context that our policy is to only replace laptops if all other options have been exhausted. I don't need you to go snooping around my computer. Just give me a new one. Gail I'd love to do that for you but. That's ridiculous. I'm a director. I should be able to get a new laptop. I have no time for this. I completely understand. Can you let me have five minutes to do a quick triage, and then we can discuss next steps. If the user is crossing the line and making you feel uncomfortable, ignoring it can feel like the easiest solution. It isn't. Remember that if you do, the next person they interact with, will be treated the same way. And that's not okay. It's also easy to say the person being attacked needs to stand up for themselves. But in situations like this one, that's really hard. Ideally bystanders would call up this behavior in a calm way. It's also important that you escalate these issues to the appropriate channel, whether that's your manager, the human resources department, whomever. Disclaimer, I love being in the IT support field, and I don't want to dwell on the negative. But I do want to prepare you for what you might encounter. So let me throw another tough scenario at you. You might find that a user skims over what you wrote, or doesn't listen to the full instructions you present before taking action. When this happens, be patient. You've likely been on the other end of this before when you ignored instructions. Why? Were you overwhelmed with information? Were you in a hurry? Maybe you need reading glasses. Whatever the case might be, the best tactic is to break these steps down into smaller more digestible pieces for the user. If you sent them an article that they didn't finish reading, ask where specifically in the documentation they're having issues. So that you don't have to bore them with the parts they already know. Sometimes you'll come across someone wanting to bend a policy or push back on an established process. Take this as a sign to look deeper into the situation. Is it really a company policy, or just a common way of doing things? If it is the policy, is there documentation of it? You can reference that to the user. If not, offer to follow up to get a definitive answer. You might be surprised what you find. The takeaway here is, that it's important to try to see things from other people's point of view. In that moment, when you're feeling riled up and frustrated, take a minute to see the situation from the other person's perspective. If you are them, how would you be feeling? What would make you feel better? If you can train yourself to see things from another's perspective, you're on your way to turning things around.
